Hook A Sistah Up... Or Not!

Alright, I really feel like something needs to be clarified here. So, I’m pretty sure I have amazing first hand experience of this. Let me explain. I’m a girl; a very nerdy one at that. I love video games, Dungeons and Dragons, reading Game Informer, reading forums on the games I play, uploading silly YouTube videos of me and my friends playing these silly games. I also really enjoy school. Most of the shows I watch are super nerdy too, like Star Trek, Doctor Who and Firefly. Pretty much all science fiction. On top of this, I’m a little cute. I’ve got the whole skinny and petite thing going on.

Now, as a result of the abovementioned I mainly have guy friends. Let’s face it. Nerd girls are not a plentiful breed. (Shame really!) Everyone likes having friends with the same interests as you, so I’ve learned to gravitate towards guys because I have a better chance of finding nerdy people like me. Now, I mean no offense by any of this, I’ve just taken all I can take and it dawned on me, that maybe people just don’t know this and I know I can’t be the only nerd girl out there with this problem.

So, we’ve established that nerd girls are hard to find, so therefore, there are more nerd guys, making it difficult for some nerdy guys to find an awesome girlfriend who shares his interests. And I understand the search for love can sometimes totally suck but… asking me to “hook you up” with my “hot” or “nerdy” or “cute” girlfriends is NOT okay. Listen. I have… like… maybe 5 chick friends. They're either married, gay or already in a relationship. F-I-V-E… I really don’t know what is so hard to understand about that. Time and time again I’m asked, over and over and over and over to hook up my nerd friends with my “hot” friends. I don’t know if you guys just don’t believe me when I say I don’t have any, like, do you think I’m hiding them in my closet and that if you ask enough that I’m magically going to pull one out, dust her off and be like “JUST KIDDING!!! Here she is!! All ready for a good fucking!” … No. Not even a little. Not at all...

Now, ladies, this goes both ways. It’s not cool to ask our dude friends to hook us up. Mostly because dudes aren’t good at this shit and they’d probably fuck it up anyway. No offense. And I mean, we're really no better at it, too.

Listen, I don’t mind being a friend, lending an ear, giving advice and such on just about anything. But seriously. I’m not your secretary; I am not going to catalog every hot and potentially single girl that walks into my life just so I can later tell you when you ask me for the millionth time. I have a life! I have my own shit to worry about and I’m sorry but I’m not adding your sex life to it. Stop telling me you wanna get laid. I can't help you there either. I understand being single sucks sometimes and that sex is like air - it's all good until you're not getting any, but it is YOUR life. Get out there! Put yourself out there! Say hello more! Wear a crazy funny t-shirt and fuckin’ walk around the mall a million times. The women that are worth a damn aren’t looking for you to climb a fuckin’ mountain and proclaim anything. They just wanna be made to laugh while rolling a D20. Come on.

So please. Stop asking me. I SERIOUSLY cannot help you.